Baby It's Cold Outside

How about this for the dumbest Christmas controversy ever.

Woke people are upset about Baby It's Cold Outside (How about this for a line - It May be Cold Outside, but it's warm in here - we've got Insulation) so John Legend wrote a new version.

John Legend is a doofus. That's all I have to say.

I really can't stay (baby, it's cold outside)
I've got to go away (but, I can call you a ride)
This evening has been (I'm so glad you that you dropped in)
So very nice (time spent with you is paradise)
My mom will start to worry (I'll call the car and tell him to hurry)
My daddy will be pacing the floor (wait, what are you still livin' home for?)
So, really, I'd better scurry (your driver, his name is Murray)
But maybe just a half a drink more (oh, we're both adults, so who's keepin' score)
What will my friends think? (I think they should rejoice)
If I have one more drink? (It's your body and your choice)
Ooh you really know how (your eyes are like starlight now)
To cast a spell (one look at you and then I fell)
I ought to say, "No, no, no, sir" (then you really ought to go, go, go)
At least I'm gonna say that I tried (well, Murray, he just pulled up outside)
I really can't stay
(I understand, baby)
Baby, it's cold outside
I simply should go (text me when you get home)
Oh, I'm supposed to say no (mm, I guess that's respectable)
This welcome has been (I feel lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (but you better go before it storms)
My sister will be suspicious (well, gosh your lips look delicious)
My brother will be there at the door (oh, he loves my music, baby, I'm sure)
My gossipy neighbor's vicious (I'm a genie, tell me what your wish is)
But maybe just a cigarette more (oh, that's somethin' we should probably explore)
I've got to get home (oh, baby, I'm well aware)
Say, lend me a coat (oh, keep it girl, I don't care)
You've really been grand (I feel good to touch me hands)
Don't you see? (I want you to stay, it's not up to me)
There's bound to be talk tomorrow (well, they can talk, what do they know)
At least there will be plenty implied (oh, let their mind do this, and-)
Ma'am, I really can't stay
Baby, just go
It's cold, baby
It's cold, baby
But, ooh, I don't wanna go
It's cold outside